Calming Strategies for Kids

CALMING STRATEGIES FOR KIDS

School counselors are amazing. When deciding what to be in life, these are the sweet people who thought, “I want to work with kids. I want to be a person they can talk to when the world feels upside down. I want them to know there is someone who will listen and help them feel safe.” And when a school counselor gets to counsel, it’s a beautiful thing. But if your school counselor is anything like mine, his or her duties might also include being the site’s testing coordinator, IEP specialist, and Child Study Team facilitator, leaving very little time for actual counseling.

Plus, in most elementary schools, there’s one counselor and HUNDREDS of children. That’s math even I can do.

As a classroom teacher, knowing how to deescalate and redirect behaviors is part of the job and I’ve learned a lot over the years from the specialists I’ve been fortunate enough to work with. We’re with our students several hours each day. We know them. And we can be their classroom counselor when things feel upside down.

Social Emotional Learning

One way to begin is by creating an awareness of emotions and nurturing a community where kids feel safe talking about their feelings. These are some of my favorite books for introducing children to all the different emotions we experience from day to day. It’s important to name them and to talk about them. Sharing your own personal stories of times you’ve felt happiness, anger, fear, and sadness is a great way to normalize the topic, encouraging your students to follow your lead when they feel ready.

Today I Feel Silly by Jamie Lee Curtis
The Way I Feel by Janan Cain
When Sophie Gets Angry – Really, Really Angry by Molly Bang
What Are You So Grumpy About? by Tom Lichtenheld

You can also read and discuss stories where the characters experience a variety of emotions, ranging from worry (Wemberly Worried by Kevin Henkes) to frustration (I Love My New Toy! by Mo Willems). Authors typically structure stories in a way that helps you talk about what event led to the problem, what impact it had on the character’s emotions, and how it was solved. Your students will probably want to share some of their own personal connections and that’s a perfect time to talk about managing emotions and solving problems. Following up with role-play can be a fun and effective strategy for kids who enjoy visualizing and performing.

Calm Down Kits

I’ve seen so many creative Calm Down Corners on Pinterest. Those are great places for children to go when they need a little breather… a moment to settle and regain control when they’re feeling overstimulated, frustrated, or anxious. Because kids are so unique though, I think a few students need our help taking it one step further. One size rarely fits all, so some kids benefit from having a personalized calming kit.

Some children need their own go-to basket of items that are specific to their soothing needs. The example above is perfect for a child who finds solace mostly in tactile activities, particularly unraveling and winding balls of yarn. Counting soft pom-poms and stretching the plastic spring are also calming for this student. It’s important to spend time finding what works for each child.

Teacher Tools

I created a set of resources to help K-2 teachers coach children through stressful emotions. It includes a student book👇 to help children learn different ways kids manage challenging emotional moments. The simple illustrations provide practical examples and the language invites kids to think about their own needs and preferences.

From there, they can choose or design a bookmark to help them recall some of the calming strategies they would like to try when they need to self-regulate and regain a sense of control. The strategy bookmarks are grouped by type, but there is also a blank template so children can mix-and-match to customize their own bookmark with a variety of strategies that appeal to them.

Bodily-Kinesthetic Strategies: stretch, walk, bounce, balance
Tactile Hands-On Strategies: squeeze, squish, build, solve
Processing Strategies: talk, write, draw, think
Breathing Strategies: count, breathe, blow, hug
Service Strategies: clean, collect, care, deliver
Block-It-Out Strategies: listen to a story, listen to music, sit in a quiet room, take a walk outside

The set also includes mini-posters for teaching details about how our bodies react physically to emotions like worry, fear, anger, sadness, and embarrassment. These help give a name to the physical feelings and allow kids to think about how different they are from feelings of peace and calm. It’s another piece in helping children understand that these feelings are normal and that it’s healthy to talk about them.

Writing Templates

For kids who regulate by writing and drawing, I love the processing prompts that encourage expression and reflection. There are a variety to choose from, depending on the specific situation and the developmental needs of the child. The speech bubble is my favorite. It gives kids a space to say something privately. Once they get it on paper, they can decide if it actually needs to be said out loud. Often, just writing it down satisfies. Other times, children use this prompt as a way to process or practice what they actually want to say to another person.

Not every kid will want to write or draw, especially in the heat of the moment. Sometimes, the language of these prompts can simply be used to start a discussion and even blank paper will work in a pinch. Not everything has to be fancy or prepared. Life gets really real sometimes and it’s ok if all we show up with is our heart and the time to listen.

Actually, that’s everything.